After yesterday I was afraid of how today was going to start out. The weather was perfect. Not going to say the start of the day was perfect because there were a few minor bumps in the routine, but so far not bad.
I realize I'm going to have bad days. I did before I became a mom. I just can't let those bad days consume me like I used to. I have a family who needs me to be me. I know everybody has a bad day every now and then, no body's perfect.
All the wrongs from yesterday will work themselves out. I didn't spill week old Mt. Dew on me this morning as I was getting in my car for starters. That's a win.
I still have an overwhelming sense of anxiousness today, but I think my that's part of my "disease" taking hold. I just have to stay positive.
I didn't get to tell the interweb readers that I got two hours of "me" time on Saturday. Two hours of uninterrupted time for me to sit back and enjoy for myself. Two hours where I didn't have to be a referee, magician, disciplinarian. Two hours for me to get out and do something just for me. I know this sounds extremely selfish. And it probably is. But the truth is, I haven't had any time alone, except on my commute to and from work by myself since the kids have gotten here. While many parents are reading that statement and thinking, you have NO idea what you're talking about, I do...... kind of.
Sometimes someone just needs to take the time to step back and breathe and that's what those two hours were for me. Being a parent is hard. Being a stepparent is hard too.
There are days where it feels like the kids would be better off if I just disappeared. But then there are those moments where they wrap their arms around my neck and saying thank you or I love you. At that moment everything just seems to stop just for a few seconds.
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