Live, laugh, love

Going to the chapel

Today we are heading to my cousins wedding renewal. Of course in my perfect procrastination fashion I had to find something for them to wear. Walmart to the rescue and thankfully came through (bless you clearance racks). I'm glad that the kids are still kind of at the age that I can dress them in similar clothes. 

High five for Friday

Happy Friday! Man it is blazin hot here in the bluegrass state. Today we have an quality alert for sensitive groups. Shoo wee! This week has been running much smoother than last week. I give mad props to an amazing better half who helps pick me up when I need it the most. 

Without further ado here's my shout outs for the week! 

1. 

I woke up with plenty of time to get myself ready for work and put a little bit of makeup on. That right there is a big win in my book!!! 

2.

Teaching this semester has started off great! Both classes are responding well to my dorkiness and I can occasionally get a laugh out of them. 

3. 

This little artist was recommended for a 10 week art program. It's only available to students who have been highly recommended by a teacher. They choose 8 from each elementary school and the narrow it down to four per school to attend. We discussed it and its only fitting for her to get involved. 

4. 

It's been super hot outside and add it the humidity and its just crazy sticky. I work in an office surrounded by crappy windows. By the end of the day it feels like I'm working in a sweat shop. I feel so disgusting but I'm not complaining because this little fan is my silver lining. It keeps me cool and breezy. 

5. Meagan learned a valuable lesson the other day. She has been through a lot and she is sometimes terrified that she is gonna get her butt whooped. It is what she is used too. This week we had a breakthrough and she realized that we aren't going to hurt her as a form of punishment. There are effective ways to discipline other than physical force. It really just takes some patience and understanding. 

Tomorrow the kids and I are going to head down south to watch my cousin renew her wedding vows. I can wait to get them dressed up and snazzy looking. Have a great weekend! 

5 little letters

Brave.

A word that I have never once in my life used to describe myself. With everything that has happened over the past years more and more people are using that word for what I am doing. I don't feel brave. I feel scared most of the time. I feel that this is my calling as a parent.

I'm afraid that I'm going to fail. If anyone should be described as brave it should be the girls. For being so young, they have had to grow up so fast.

We are going into our third week of them being up here full time, and I guess the honeymoon period is ending. More effects from the lack of structure are starting to surface. We aren't fair because one child got something and the other didn't or I have one child who is constantly afraid that she is going to get her butt busted if she does something wrong.

These girls have been through a lot.

We went to a baseball game as a family date night and we asked them what would they be doing if they were still at their mom's house. Their answers while not shocking in the least bit, still tug at my heart. "We would be looking for something to eat" or "We would be at someone's house."

How can you not feed your children? How can you just shuffle them off onto someone else? I come home everyday from work and there are not enough hours in the day for me to spend with the kids. For every bad moment that we have, it cannot override the fact that Dustin and I are giving them a life where they can finally be kids!

LIttle bumps

This morning was a rough start. My curling iron decided to go kaput on me right after it singed some hair, thankfully i can't see where it happened at. This fiasco caused me to wake the kids up late. I was so panicked about waking them up that I just did super simple ponytails on both of them. I didn't want to chance my flat iron on their hair or wasting anymore time than what was needed. When I got the kids ready I realized that I hadn't made my lunch for the day. I didn't have to worry about making the kids lunch because they both forgot their lunchboxes at school so they are buying lunch today. When we make it to the bus stop Meagan looks up at me and says "I forgot my glasses." The bus was going to be there anytime, I was hoping that it was running on time which would give me roughly 5 minutes to get to the apt and back to the bus stop. I didn't want to take any chances, because the way I am I think of the worse case scenario. The bus comes, the girls freak out because I'm not back yet, and then the bus leaves without them on the bus. I made a mad sprint back to the apartment (while in a dress and high humidity) I grabbed the glasses and made it back to the bus stop in just enough time for the kids to give me a hug, kiss, I love you and head on the bus. I got the rest of my things and headed towards work, and I got stuck in traffic.  I crawled on the interstate.

I'm not going to let this determine the outcome of my day. It's going to be a great day. I'm going to make sure of it.

My New normal

Waiting for the bus on the second week of school. Doing a last minute study session for a social studies test.

Perfection

Sick day high five for Friday

II'm quarantined from the rest of the world today. I came home from work and teaching Wednesday with my left eye feeling irritated. I thought it was just my contact gettin some dirt behind it. When I woke up yesterday my eye was completely bloodshot 

It didn't get any better throughout the day so I made the decision to stay home from work today. I'm getting some much needed relaxation in that I won't ever see much of. Anywho here is my high five for Friday 

1. My classes, both the ones I'm teaching and taking, started this week and I think it will be a good semester. Busy, but overall should be good. 

2. The girls started school this week at their new school. So far it's been a successful transition for them. They are adjusting to having structure and wearing uniforms. 

3. I'm really enjoying being able to spend a little bit of time I the mornings helping the girls get ready. I get myself ready while they are waking up and getting dressed. After they come into my room a and tell me how they want their hair fixed. Something that they aren't used to having done. 

4. Dustin got an email yesterday saying I was due for an upgrade with my phone! Thank you jeebus!!! I still have my iPhone 4 from when it originally rolled out. It's a great phone but like all good things it is starting to see its final days. So I'm definitely looking forward to the iPhone 5 coming my way very soon! 

5. I've also been looking at purchasing a new computer too. There are so many options for home computers these days. I would love love love to have a Mac, however, my budget does not agree. It's one of those items on my wish list that I have wanted for years, but have never been able to afford. One day I will. Until then I have to keep looking for a more budget friendly computer that I can use for the classes that I'm taking. I don't think my laptop has much life in it. 

Pass the tissues please.

Today was the first day of school up here. I admit I cried. Just a few tears, but I cried. The girls were super excited, I wish I could say the same. I was nervous. Here is hoping I can make it through the day in one piece. 

Strawberry shortcake

Sometimes strawberry shortcake requires to be hands on includes getting it everywhere 

Quiet reflections

After my little freak out moment we all sat outside for a little bit after dinner. 

Just having some time as a family, together, speaks volumes even though its calm outside.

 Right now I'm loving this adventure. 

I just have to remember to breathe when I start to feel overwhelmed. 

Barrel of monkeys

Today we decided that since both of us were off work that we would go to the zoo as a family fun day as a way to end summer vacation. It was quite the enjoyable morning. We got there early before the crowd really started coming in. Plus the weather wasn't too hot yet. All of the animals were rather active today and we all got a lot of enjoyment watching. The giraffes were doing like they do on the discovery channel and becoming one with their surroundings.

I am surprised that they let me out of my cage for social interaction today. 

Now I'm at my parents house with my family and enjoying this gorgeous afternoon stretched out in a hammock with my love. 

Can I really do this?

This week hasn't offered me much opportunity to really stop and have time to really dwell on what has happened. We gained custody and I am now a parent. I'm a guardian of two lives that aren't my own. I was very exited while talking to my therapist today, but while I'm sitting here waiting to meet up with Jeremy to grill out and go to the pool, a sinking feeling is starting to overcome me. What did I get myself into?

High five for Friday!!!

 it's been a crazy crazy busy week. I wouldn't have it any differently though. This I my new normal and I love it! 

To recap my week (a lot of this is probably going to be repeats) but its hard to really venture out when back to school errands are top priority! 

1) custody of the kids is official. They moved to Louisville on Monday and we have been going through our usual adjustment period. No worries, it looks like we are on the back end of the hard stuff....for now. 

2) mom is an awesome mom (Mimi) and bought the girls brand new back packs and lunch boxes. So freakin cute! 

3) we had to get the kids eyes checked and now have two kids who are enthusiastic about their new glasses. Hopefully this will last and we won't have worry about Meagan losing her glasses. 

4) I got the school uniforms ordered for both kids. I can't wait for this to come in. I am probably going to be taking a million bak to school pictures next week. Happy mom moment right here! 

5) Dustin and I have been blessed with some of the greatest friends, family, coworkers I think I could have ever met. They have all been rocks in our journey to this week. Helping us out when we don't ask for it but it is obviously needed. Sometimes you're reminded of that when you least expect it. 

Have a great weekend and upcoming week!! 

Family of four eyes

Today we had to go replace Tracey's glasses because they were broken. So while we were there we went ahead an had Meagan's eyes checked as well. Both kids are officially in glasses and my checkbook is officially empty. 

Excited over chores?

We decided over the summer that we would try something new with the kids. That we would start to incorporate chores that they would get an allowance for into their weekly routine so that they aren't just sitting around watching tv all day long.

 I have never seen two kids more excited about doing chores than these two kids. Granted there are some things that they have picked they they absolutely dread doing, but then there are the chores that the look forward to doing. On Tuesday when i called them to check in, they told me that they were just doing their morning chores since they hadn't drawn new chores yet. Really?!!? How old are my kids again?!?

Then Wednesday night after we got back from the open house at school we decided to switch things up from what we had tried over the summer. Since each kid has a few things that they love to do, then those will be their chores every day.

I can't tell you how nice it is to come home and have the bathrooms swept, mopped, toilets scrubbed, a clean kitchen, and have help getting the dinner table set for meals. When it comes to payday for allowance time these two get SO excited about getting paid. It's nothing crazy, but it is money that they have earned. They learned that if they save up their money that they were able to buy things that they want.

Both kids wanted their own fishing pole, so after two weeks of saving up their allowance they were able to buy a really nice pole and some other things. Right before they left to go back to to their moms for a month and a half we took them to a store so THEY could buy their own clothes. We told them to set a budget and they couldn't go over that amount. I have never seen two kids be so determined to meet a budget.

An 8 and a 10 year old working with a budget. Amazing! Yes, we do try to empasize the importance of a dollar and how to stretch your money by looking for sales and other ways to save money. But the main point that we were really trying to show them was that they worked hard for that money, so they could spend their money on nice things.

A is for Apple.

Wow this week has definitely been a hit the ground running full force. It still feels surreal.

Last night Dustin and I found out not only the kids school assignment for this year, but we also had student orientation. I'm glad we looked on the website or else we would have missed it. While the open house wasn't scheduled, I'm glad we went. We were able to get a lot of questions answered, gave the kids an opportunity to meet their teachers, and we were able to meet with the principle.

When we first got to the school we were instantly greeted by one of the teachers and Mrs. Whitley, the principle. Both were very welcoming and warm. I guess we had the deer in headlights look because we were instantly taken in. The principle even took us down to the office to get all of the unknowns figured out.

**Let me back up some so this makes more sense.** I came home and checked the mail. We were expecting to get the school assignment any day this week, so I was like a hound dog checking the mail vigilantly. I opened up the mail box and there laid a letter. "To the parent/guardian of Tracey." Wow. One letter down. I got really super stoked when I saw that it was from our #1 pick out of our cluster schools. I tore open the letter and it was like an acceptance letter you would get from a college. "Welcome to our school for the 2013-2014 school year!" I walked in the door and told Tracey and Dustin about the school. Since we didn't get Meagan's letter in the mail we had to explain to her that it was coming that we just hadn't gotten it yet. Deep down we were hoping that the kids were going to be split up.

Back to the open house. We didn't find out about the open house until Dustin called. We had looked on the website and the calendar showed open house, but it did not have a time. Crap!  After Dustin called and found out that it was going on right then, we quickly got everything together and into the car. I started to feel really anxious at this point. So much was happening very quickly.

We got to the open house and were directed to the cafeteria where we met the principle. After we got done in the office, getting the school supply lists, uniform lists, and their bus information it was time to meet the teachers. By this point the kids were super excited. They were a little shy at first but quickly warmed up especially when the principle gave each girl a hug and was asking about where they came from, were they excited, etc. Just super friendly.

The teachers were especially great. Tracey's teacher is younger and is new to teaching the 5th grade. She's previously taught 4th, so she was going to be experiencing a new classroom. Meagan's teacher was also very warm. She told us that her classroom is very pink. Dustin and I really appreciated how they took time out of the open house to explain the first week and what to expect. One thing, since the kids are bus riders that we really liked and was reassuring that I've never heard of before, was the fact that the teachers will ride on the buses with the kids in the afternoons to make sure that all the kids get off the bus at the right location.

Another new thing that neither Dustin or myself have ever had to experience was the paperwork. Oh the paperwork. There was consent to release forms, there were background checks, and student applications. While we were there Tracey even found out about the cheerleading coach. She's really excited that she'll be able to get involved with something school related. Something neither kid has been able to do before, along with school supply shopping and picking out new backpacks and lunch boxes (<-that is something they've never had before because the school always provided them with 3 meals a day.)

Right now I'm still super excited about this journey of being a step-PARENT. It all feels like everything is finally falling into place. Questions are being answered, we have a plan in place, and everyone is excited.

Able to breathe

Yesterday was a day that I'll remember for the rest of my life. It was a momentous day for the record books. Dustin and I went down to Somerset and we picked up the kids and moved them to Louisville. I didn't sleep much Sunday night. I was too excited. I even woke up yesterday morning with a smile on my face. 

I felt unstoppable. I was so excited I even felt the need to put make up on kind of like a celebration for new beginnings. Our day started early. We knew there was going to be a lot of things that had to happen during the day. So we planned on being down in Nancy by noon. Plenty of time. 

We started our trip as scheduled, around 915-930. By this time I was getting really fidgety. I was just too excited. All of the negative things that have happened in the days, months, and years was now out the window. It was just positive moments and bright futures for the kids. 

The trip was going so smoothly until after we hit E-town. Once we got past there it just rained and rained and rained. 

I wasn't going to let it bring me down. Today was going to be a great day, and nothing was going to stop it from being on. We arrived in Nancy shortly after 12-as planned. We got a call from the kids about 30 minutes before our arrival asking where we were at. When we arrived the kids were down at the neighbors house taking showers, I was not happy about this picture at all. Three little girls down at a grown mans house with no other person there. Not kosher at all in my book....yes we took notes. We had to wait for about 30 because their mom wasn't there. When their mom finally arrived we exchanged a few words and then got the ball really rolling. All of the clothes that they had were given to us in garbage bags. Not a big deal. We got the car loaded down and the girls buckled in. We were off!!!

We stopped in Liberty to grab a quick bite for the girls. They were starving and there is no way we were going to make the kids sit in a car for 2.5 hours without eating. The ride home went smoothly. For the first time since I met these kids, my mind was at ease. The air smelled a little bit sweeter, I felt at peace. For the first time in a long time I was able to relax just a little bit. 

We got home a little after 4 and it was busy busy busy until it was bedtime. We had to go through all of the kids clothes. We had made three piles. Keep (wash), throw away, donate. All of the clothes that were brought up with them and we kept had to go directly into the washing machine. There was a stench coming from these clothes that just reeked. It was a combination between mildew, dirt, smoke, and body funk. It was just bad. So bad that I had to light 5 candles just to get the smell to go away. I think I did a total of 6 loads of laundry last night. 

Tonight we get to go through their hair and give them lice treatments. This is something I was expecting, but ran out of time to do last night. When I get home from work I'll start on Tracey's hair before dinner. That way the shampoo will be able to soak and I'll get dinner started before going through their hair with the comb. 

I couldn't be happier right now. I'm still on cloud nine.

High Five for Friday

TGIF!!!

This week has been one crazy roller coaster.

1. In my last post I talked about my hair cut. I'm still loving it. LOVE IT!


2. I can't help but think about all the fun school supplies and uniforms that I'll be shopping for in the next couple of days.

3. We had a potluck to celebrate the end of the summer and kickoff the fall semester which starts on the 19th. I brought in a cake that was requested. It was a chocolate cake with homemade caramel icing. I tell you what, that was the most requested cake I have ever made. I've got people wanting another cake soon! Like next week soon. I have gotten nothing but rave reviews over how good and moist the cake was (I cheated and made a box cake mix) but the star of the dish was the frosting. Nothing beats some homemade frosting.

4. I attended a training yesterday for the FYE classes that I'm teaching this fall. I'm really super excited about getting back into teaching again. It just adds a little zest to my day. The schedule is different than what I used to teach, but it will work out in my favor.

5. My new candle that I ordered from Diamond Candles should arrive today or tomorrow. I can't wait. It's a scent that I have been looking forward to trying since they revealed it last month. If you don't know what Diamond Candles are you definitely need to check them out. Especially if you love candles. There is a ring in every candle, which adds some flare to lighting it, but the ring reveal is what really makes it fun.

Have a great week ya'll!

The Big Chop

For a few weeks now I've been back and forth debating on getting a substantial haircut, and not just a trim or shape up for my hair. It's the longest that it has ever been.

I have a tattoo on my back and I would use that to gauge how long my hair had gotten. There was maybe an inch of my tattoo that wasn't covered at the bottom. With everything that's been going on the past few weeks and trying to prepare getting ready to start the school year, my mind was made up. I was going to go in for a big chop. I had a style in mind so I sent it to my stylist to see what her thoughts on the cut were. I needed that reinforcement to remind me that I'm not losing my mind. I kind of am because I just chopped off 8 INCHES off! Look at all that hair! I was proud of how good I kept it looking. But the downfall with all that hair, is that it is SO heavy and thick. I would have to sleep with it in a ponytail or a bun just so I would end up with a massive hair ball in my face. It had also gotten to the point where I was rolling my hair up in my window when I was driving. 

Going back to the school prep....I needed a hair cut that I could get ready super quick and easy because it's not just going to be myself getting ready in the mornings. I'm going to have to get myself and two squirrels ready and out the door before their bus comes. 

So I settled on a popular hair style-the graduated bob. I think I was in shock for the first day or so. I had just cut all my hair off. I had to retrain myself on how to rock short hair. But without further ado....I present to you.....my "new mommy-ish" hair cut 

It's a very flattering cut and I love the ease that comes with it. I'm definitely ready to rock this school year as a "parent" this year. 

Set in stone

In my enthusiasm of the anticipation of everything that's going on with the kids, last night I had a moment where I almost stopped in my tracks and lost my breathe. Nothing is officially set in stone, yet. The paperwork, although has been submitted with the lawyers, isn't official until all signatures are dry. We are farther than we have been in years past, but while the kids are registered to start school up here, we are planning on moving them next week, nothing is officially set in stone.....yet.

I also had to take a minute to remember that this isn't going to always be the happy times, there will be some bumps in the road. I still to this day ask myself if this is something that I'm ready to take on. I'm going from holidays and breaks (part time parent) to a full time parent in a matter of days. DAYS! Some of my friends who have kids keep reminding me that there really isn't a way to really know that you're doing a good job. It's not like you're being graded in parenthood. Sometimes I wish it were that easy. As long as the kids are healthy, happy, and still breathing at the end of the night you're doing good. 

I'm going to have a busy schedule this fall, but I REALLY want to make sure that I'm involved and the kids are involved. But at the same time I don't want any of us to be spread too thin. This is going to be a big adjustment for all of us. The kids in a new school/school system, my work schedule will be changing, we are going to have to make sure we are up and ready before the bus arrives, after school stuff, etc. Can I really handle two jobs, going to school part time myself, getting the kids up and ready for school, come home and make dinner,etc? 

I have to remind myself that I wouldn't have been given this chance if someone didn't think I could do it. I have never really considered myself a parent until recently, but the opportunity is now. I have a chance to really make a difference. 

Here goes nothing. 

All geeked up

I'm probably more excited than I should be, but I'm really excited about school supply shopping. I've always been fascinated by the back to school shelves. I love school supplies. Especially pens. This year I get to take the kids supply shopping. I'm not sure if they have ever been because they've always received supplies from organizations in their hometown.

We registered the kids for school yesterday and now we wait to find out their school assignment. I'm hoping they get the #1 pick which is a school that all of us really liked. They work in conjunction with the zoo which I know both kids will appreciate. I am probably going to jump with excitement when we get their letters in the mail telling us which school they are going to.

Dustin and I were talking about their open house and are both looking forward to going and meeting their teachers for the year.

Great things are happening.

Ish just got real ya'll

While completing the first step in getting the kids registered in school up here it was very surreal. The forms were asking for parent and guardian information. I'm officially a guardian. I never thought I would see the day where I would be completing emergency contact information forms. I actually had to stop for a second and remind myself to take a breathe because I was holding it in while typing yesterday. It was crazy in the sense that it's all becoming so real now. It's not just an intangible thing anymore, this is real. This is going to be our life. Something that we have been looking forward to for SO long is here.

The day we've all been waiting for

I feel like I could jump so high right now. Shout with joy with excitement. Today marks a milestone. Today paperwork was started to get custody into Dustin's name. All we are waiting on is the final signature from the judge. It's a wonderful day. Not only that, but we began the registration process for school registration.  Once we get the ok from JCPS we can begin applying for a school up here. I can't believe we're at this point! For the past two years it has always been the "if the kids move up here" or "when they decide" but now we can finally breathe and say, "THE KIDS ARE MOVING TO LOUISVILLE!" The real fun is getting ready to begin. I'm going to be a full time parent. I'm so excited that I get to embark on this journey with Dustin. I think this is news more exciting than if we were expecting. Just to clear the air so absolutely no rumors get started, I am not planning on having kids of my own. My heart and soul are dedicated to my stepdaughters. There is a lot that needs to happen between now and August 20th. The first day of school will definitely be a day for all of us to remember.

Just one of those days

As Monday gets closer, I am getting more anxious to find out what is going to happen. I think I've thought about every worse case scenario that could possibly occur.

It's a cloudy day today and it seems fitting with how I am feeling at this moment in time. However I feel the rays of sun starting to peek through and it feels like that one little thing for me to hold on to right now. It's almost comforting for me.

I took two vacation days to get some things done around the house with Dustin that I just can't seem to get motivated to do by myself. It'll be a nice 4 day weekend away from work and with Dustin on 3 of those days. Monday I'm sure I will be a nervous wreck waiting to hear from him after his meeting.