A letter to my daughters

*I originally wrote this letter to Tracey after we had a rough night where she had a hard time explaining her emotions. After much consideration, I decided to make this letter to the both of them.*

To my babies:

I know that I did not give birth to you, but you are my children. You are my motivation to be successful and my drive to keep pushing when I want to give up. I love the peacefulness about you in the moments right before I wake you up for school. You roll over still sleepy eyed and wrap your arms around my neck to give me a hug and tell me I love you. I love coming home everyday to hear about the things that you learned, sitting down with you and "helping" you do your homework, and sitting down as a family for dinner.

I am so proud of both of your accomplishments that you have achieved so far this year. I cannot say how PROUD I am enough. I'm beyond proud to be your step-mom, and experience this with you. You are both so talented in your own ways. I hope that you are able to see those talents and grow from them.

I'm not perfect. This journey that we are on right now won't be either. Things won't always be the easy road for us. We aren't always going to see eye to eye. I'm getting used to the glares, the eye rolls, and the days where you hate me. But no matter HOW much you may not want me around some days, I will still be here for YOU. You both may try and push my buttons, and push each others buttons to the point where you start to scream at each other. But that doesn't take away from the fact that what I do is to help guide you for a future that you can be successful.

I'm excited to watch the both of you grow up into young ladies. I'm excited about teaching you things about being a respectable woman, about make up tips, showing you how to shave your legs. I will be in the stands watching you at for first sporting event. I may even embarrass you on that day because I will be so excited for you. I'll be that step-mom who is waiting up watching the front door as you come in from your first solo date. (That's not to say your dad won't be sitting outside with a watchful eye).

I don't want to take the place of your mom. That role is already filled by your mom. While she's not made the greatest choices in life recently, the greatest choice she did make was to have you. She's not a bad person, she's just made some mistakes that could have seriously hurt you. For her to let you two move up here is a huge step for her. So for the time right now, I am doing my best as your step-mom. I'm not going to know what to do in every scenario. I'm still learning, but I'm never going to give up on you.

I know you both have had so many promises made to you and sometimes broken. But while you are living up here with dad and me, here is what I can promise to you:.
1. I promise to give you a safe home. A place where you can have a roof over your head, a place that is warm and shelters you from the outside, a comfortable place that you can lay your head at night. I want this place to be a place where you can grow, that you can make your own, and have a place to be a kid.

2. I promise to give you a nurtured life. I want to give you the clothes, food, necessities that you need in life to have a promising future.

3. I promise to you to love you both unconditionally. To wipe away your tears when you are hurting, to laugh along side of you, and to hug your when you are scared.

4. I promise to you to celebrate the memories. No matter how small they are. I want to make those memories last for ever so that you can replace bad memories with the good ones.

I love you both, and I am in this for the long haul. You are my kids and I would walk to the ends of the Earth to give you what you need. Life's going to have some rough patches, but we are going to make it through this storm. TOGETHER.

D