Set in stone

In my enthusiasm of the anticipation of everything that's going on with the kids, last night I had a moment where I almost stopped in my tracks and lost my breathe. Nothing is officially set in stone, yet. The paperwork, although has been submitted with the lawyers, isn't official until all signatures are dry. We are farther than we have been in years past, but while the kids are registered to start school up here, we are planning on moving them next week, nothing is officially set in stone.....yet.

I also had to take a minute to remember that this isn't going to always be the happy times, there will be some bumps in the road. I still to this day ask myself if this is something that I'm ready to take on. I'm going from holidays and breaks (part time parent) to a full time parent in a matter of days. DAYS! Some of my friends who have kids keep reminding me that there really isn't a way to really know that you're doing a good job. It's not like you're being graded in parenthood. Sometimes I wish it were that easy. As long as the kids are healthy, happy, and still breathing at the end of the night you're doing good. 

I'm going to have a busy schedule this fall, but I REALLY want to make sure that I'm involved and the kids are involved. But at the same time I don't want any of us to be spread too thin. This is going to be a big adjustment for all of us. The kids in a new school/school system, my work schedule will be changing, we are going to have to make sure we are up and ready before the bus arrives, after school stuff, etc. Can I really handle two jobs, going to school part time myself, getting the kids up and ready for school, come home and make dinner,etc? 

I have to remind myself that I wouldn't have been given this chance if someone didn't think I could do it. I have never really considered myself a parent until recently, but the opportunity is now. I have a chance to really make a difference. 

Here goes nothing.