Testing a new kind of post

Wow, it's been a year

This time last year I would come home from work and have the girls sit outside while I picked nits out of there hair. It was this time last year that they came up here infested with lice. Thankfully, we haven't had any issues since then.

The kids originally just came up for the summer, as planned and this was the summer that was going to be a game-changer in the long run. This was going to be the first time that I was going to be more of the mother figure and less of a "step" mom. I was going to have to figure out exactly what it was going to be like to be a full-time working mom of two kids.

You might be wondering why I mention this.

Last night we had orientation for 6th grade. Ya'll next Friday I will no longer have 2 kids in elementary school. I will have a child in middle school. HOLY MOLEY YA'LL!!!

But this morning I was helping Tracey get ready for school, I asked if she was in a grumpy mood. Her face was all crinkled and pouty lips out. She said no that school made her tired. I had to laugh. I told her that work made me tired, school made me tired, being a parent made me exhausted......but I wouldn't change that last one for the world. She didn't say much, but the crinkled nose relaxed a bit and I think I may have seen a small smile pop out.

This is getting real y'all

Dustin and I have been together for 3.5 years. 3.5 absolutely wonderful years. We've been engaged since November.

We've been living together for 3 years. We moved in four months after we started dating. We've had the girls full time for a year (custody since August).

This past weekend we bought a new fridge, a new fridge ya'll. A new appliance feels like we are actually becoming the future married couple. I dont know what about appliances makes me feel like this engagement is real, but it is!

We spent the weekend painting the kitchen and bathrooms. And our new fridge arrived today. Can I just say it is a beauty. I never thought I would love a fridge, but this shiny new appliance is pretty fabulous.

Where is you

I'm in a conundrum. Not sure what to do say or feel.

I loved my Mother's Day presents and card from my inlaws and family.  But I still feel as though there are some people who don't consider me a parent. I mean what classifies you as a parent? Birthing a child? Nurturing a child? 

I've been reading blogs about stepmoms who feel like they get the shaft on Mother's Day. Which from their viewpoint is true. This is another commercialized holiday that when created the norm wasn't to celebrate the joys of step-parenting. Go into any store and try to find a card for step-parents. Not an easy task. Does it mean that we are any less of parents? Does it mean that we shouldn't be validated? No. It just means that we, as parents, are that special that we don't need a stinkin hallmark card telling the world something we already know. That we are awesome. 

While I, in the generalized step-parent population, may be awesome, I would also like to have that acknowledgment from the nay-sayers. True I did not push for hours trying to squeeze a watermelon out of my pee hole, but I have had to take a crash course into being a parent. That, in my opinion, is not an easy thing to do. 

Say what you will and think what you do, being a step parent is NOT a job for the faint of heart. 

 

My first donation

I have officially faced a fear that I have been dreading for YEARS. I donated blood for the first time ever. Honestly I have no idea what I was so afraid of. Maybe it was just the idea of having something sucking blood out of my arm.

I made an appointment during our most recent blood drive. I was more nervous walking in to the building than I was waiting. But I couldn't back out. I signed in, drank a bottle of water and tried to calm my nerves. I was still nervous because my blood pressure was a wee high, not high to be concerning but it definitely reflected the nerves.

I had to have proof that I went through with it. 

I went through the rest of the mini physical with flying colors. They got a bed for me and started prepping my arm. They almost couldn't find a vein in either arm. They had to do every thing possible for a little guy to pop up, but one finally did. As I'm laying on the table I wanted to check things out, you know cause that's what I do. I'm inquisitive. I have to know what's going on to get a better understanding. If I was allowed to I probably would have asked to have a hands on demonstration. The nurse was laughing at me because I was taking pictures of my arm while laying on the bed.

After I was done, they had me sit up on the side of the bed and asked how I felt. Believe it or not I felt fabulous. Better than I did before I went in. I didn't want the pizza that they were offering,
but I did get cookies and apple juice (so yum).

Still waiting on my superpowers

I don't feel this amazing overwhelming awesomeness that people say they feel after donating for the first time. I feel normal. I still have a small mark from the needle, but overall I had a fantastic experience and I will probably be a repeat donor.

Time ticks slowly

SO!

Their mom came through.....which shocked the world. Did you feel that small earthquake. That was my jaw dropping to the ground when we saw the car at Kroger.

Dustin and I went home afterwards and I really have no idea what we did before we had custody of them. The house is eerily way to quiet and it just feels really off not having our "routine." I hope that they have a good time and enjoy spending some qt with their mom.

In the meantime, what are two parents supposed to do without the kids until Sunday?!?

A new bar has been set

We drove all to the meeting lot so that we could drop the kids off with their mom.

We were a few minutes late because we had to stop so we could get their bellies full before they left. Not sure as to whether or not they were going to get a full meal until next weekend, and we leave them knowing that they are full.

We sit, and watch the time pass. 430, 445,450, 455....nothing. No show. No call. A very pissed off stepmomma and one INSANELY pissed the f off dad. She did not show.  It's one thing to not pick up the phone and call your kids, but to not follow through to pick them up. So they can see you. At the time that I'm writing this I'm beyond words. I have nothing more to say. She has really put a sour taste in their mouths. They didn't even want to call her when we got back home.

I'm not sure what is going to happen in the future.

Tracey feels like she's lied to her classmates and teacher. Friday they were asked what they were going to do over spring break. She told them that she was going to go to their moms. She got home and told us that since she wasn't going that she told a lie. I told her that she didn't tell a lie, but her mom lied. Meagan was heartbroken. Completely heartbroken. She would just stare out the window watching and waiting. Every white car that passed she waited to see if it was her mom pulling into the parking lot. Every car that passed was not her. Every minute that passed was one more minute that she realized that she wasn't going to show.

We finally had to leave at 515. On our way back, her husband Jerry called. They were still in Somerset. His mom, whom they live with and borrowed the car from, said that they had left at three, which would have put them getting to the meeting spot at 415. When Dustin talked to Jerry he said that they left after 4. Again if they left at 4 they would have gotten there by 515.  At 530 they were still in Somerset.

It's going to be  long week I'm sure as the kids filter through the emotions. Right now they are in the pissed off stage. Not sure what to expect next, but I'm sure it'll be a roller coaster.